Good-looking divorced, white female looking for a partner in adventure and travel, likes to dine out, go to cultural events, ski, raft, backpack, hike, and camp. Looking for the same in a partner.
This was my one and only personal ad that I placed in 1991 before the age of the Internet brought us online dating sites. Sixteen men sent me their photo and a letter responding to my ad. I still have the letter and photo that John (now my husband) sent me. Two nights ago I looked for it and found it in the back of my dresser drawer. I shared it with John, and we had a hoot reading it again and taking a trip down memory lane.
Why did my ad work? Because when I created my ad, I came from my core of peace. I knew exactly what I wanted in a partner and my ad listed my beloved activities.
Two months ago, I was reminded about my old habit of making lists by my former neighbor Bill, an Emergency Department RN, who had come to dinner with Cathy another ER nurse friend of ours. Bill said he told Cathy about my lists.
“Remember the list you had on your refrigerator with an ER doctor on it?” I was shocked and immediately thought he must have made that up. I couldn’t believe that I had been that clear. Then I remembered back to when I lived across the street from Bill and his former wife, and remembered how much I admired their outdoor pursuits. I got a vicarious thrill learning about how adventurous and fearless ER nurses and doctors were and how involved they were in outdoor activities. Then it clicked!
Here’s what I remember having on the list on my refrigerator in 1989:
1. An ER doctor
2. A four-wheel drive vehicle (Jeep Cherokee)
3. Canoe
4. Downhill skis and rack for my car
5. A tent
6. A bicycle
Guess what? My list worked because I wrote down came right into my life! John answered the personal ad that I wrote in 1991 and was the ER doctor on the list, and he came with a four-wheel drive truck, and a tent. Two years before I placed that ad, and after I wrote the list on my refrigerator, I saved money and purchased downhill skis and a rack for my car and bought a bicycle for me and my son Max. around 1995, John bought me an Old Town canoe without knowing that was on my list I wanted!
The most amazing part is that I had forgotten about this list until Bill came to visit. I had asked for an ER doctor and got one! John is my true partner in adventure and travel, he likes to dine out but he is a great cook at home, and we ski, hike, camp and go to cultural events. I couldn’t ask for a better partner to share my life with.
I often work with clients who want to meet their soul mate or their perfect partner. I tell them my personal story and suggest that they write a list of qualities they want in their partner. This process helps you put your ‘attention’ on your ‘intentions.’
How to meet the partner of your dreams:
1. Write a list of your beloved activities. To prepare to write your list, sit down in a comfortable place, close your eyes and go to that quiet place where there is no mind chatter. From this soulful place, think about things you love to do in your life. What activities do you yearn to have a partner do with you?
2. To get more clarity about your potential partner, write down 100 qualities of your ideal mate.
3. Once you have your top 10 qualities of your ideal mate, write down the feelings you’ll have when you find your ideal partner. Don’t go into the thinking mind, but stay in the feeling place. Think about the feeling you will have when you get this partner in your life.
4. Feel the feelings right now that you will have when you get your partner. Do this for five minutes every day and this will accelerate the process.
5. Each morning before you get out of bed, spend a few minutes being grateful for all that you have in your life.
6. A good resource about lists is Martha Beck’s article in O Magazine called The Truth About Magic Lists.
I am truly grateful for having Bill remind me just how clear I was back in 1989. Now get started!
Do you have a magic list story you would like to share?
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