Find Your Tribe and Connect to Live Longer

Research shows bonding with your friends helps you live a long and healthy life. 

Pearle Sise just celebrated her 101st birthday and her mind is still sharp as a tack. Her friends and family gave her three birthday parties, and hundreds of cards. 

Pearle (Nana) is my grandmother, and is a member of her church and the church’s women’s circle group, the senior center, and is a tribe leader. Recently I asked Nana what enabled her to live such a long and healthy life and she said, “I’ve made friends wherever I’ve gone, I’ve been an active member of the Senior Center, a lifelong member of my church, I sang in the church choir for 80 years until I decided it was time to retire, I always tried to do the right thing, and I have a strong faith in the Lord.” 

These traits mirror what Dan Buettner, world-renowned explorer and National Geographic writer, and his team of researchers, found in their research on Blue Zones – the hotspots around the world where people are living longer and healthier lives. In his book The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer from the People Who've Lived the Longest, he describes the traits and behaviors people in these Blue Zones share: 

1. Move naturally and focus on the passions and activities you love such as walking, gardening, reading and spending time with your family. 
2. Articulate your sense of purpose, have the right outlook and make sure each day has periods of quiet time. 
3. Eat healthy foods, avoid meat and processed foods and drink a couple of glasses of wine (red wine contains resveratrol) each day. 
4. Belong to a tribe (a church, social group, book club, cooking group or any group that gathers around a belief or idea), socialize and make the effort to connect with friends, your loved ones, and stay involved in your church or spiritual practice. 

Buettner says the average American can add 14 more ‘good’ years to their life by putting these habits to work. A key to psychological well-being among people in midlife and in their elder years is meaningful connection, which can reduce the effects of stress, and promote physical and mental health as we age. 

Cornell University researchers write about the importance of connection and relationship as a key ingredient to a long, healthy and happy life in their book Social Integration in the Second Half of Life (Johns Hopkins University Press). Their book explores how meaningful and long-term social connections can serve as a cushion against stress and promote physical and mental health as people age. 

Nana has always been a role model to me because she expanded her comfort zone as she aged and never let herself become defined by her age. After the loss of her first husband of 50 plus years in 1975, she joined the Senior Center at age 70. Although she didn’t like hanging around ‘old people,’ she met 65-year-old Ed Sise there at a square dance. Within six months, they married and reinvented their lives around their passions. They took a road trip across the country, joined a bowling league, went to Bingo (Ed called Bingo) every Wednesday night, and became regulars at the Senior Center where they became six-time Putt-Putt Champions, and won trophies in miniature golf and pool tournaments. 

In the early years of their marriage, Nana formed a senior band and became their band (tribe) leader. The band performed regularly at senior centers and nursing homes. As the band’s tribe leader, Nana took on the role of Minnie Pearl and Ed became Grandpa as part of their routine. 

Last week, her church’s Ladies Circle Group threw her the first of three birthday parties. Pearle’s son picked her up from the nursing home where she has resided the last six months and drove her to the church for the party. 

Are you a tribe leader? What tribes do you belong to? 

How to find your Tribe: 

1. Nourish and nurture friendships and spend time-sharing what’s happening in your life. Even though we lead busy lives, friendships and meaningful connection are important no matter what your age. 
2. Know your passions and make it a priority to get involved in groups or activities you love whether it’s a book club, your church or spiritual group, or a hiking club. 
3. Do the things that resonate with your deepest inner values and live your truth and be your most authentic self every step of the way. 

Resources: 

1. To read more of Dan Buettner’s research on Blue Zones. 
2. Check out the Blue Zones on Oprah’s site.  
3. Read more about Tribes by Seth Godin and see how you can become a tribe leader.